A Nature Documentary of The Internal Bacteria in the Intestines
by Bodacious Overlord Zextillion
Summary: "Not even close baby,"-Abraham Lincoln


**"Not Even Close Baby"- by Abraham Lincoln. Best read in a British accent.**

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Observing the red haired boy wields interesting results. Here, we witness the Elsword has overly spiky hair and abnormally poofy pants, swinging his sword in a way that scrapes against the ground, sending up a wall of dirt into the really strong girl's eyes. The girl covers her eyes for a minute and drops her cannon against the ground, giving the Elsword the opportunity to attack the girl. The Elsword raises his arm and crashes it down upon the girl, shattering her armor, and giving Elsword access to her weak points. The Elsword takes advantage of this and stabs her in her weak points. This causes a reaction within the girl that causes her to fall down in pain. The Elsword remains on top of her this entire time, and finally, the girl gets up, exploding her cannon on the ground.

As we can see here, the Elsword smirks and recovers quickly, slashing his sword with such precision as to slice right through the girl without causing her to stumble back in pain. The girl shrieks and says to the Elsword, "But how? You can't slash me in half without causing me to fall over!"

But the Elsword says in reply, "Of course I can." The Elsword then proceeds to slash away at the upper half of the girl. Using her reflexes, she falls to the ground in hopes of being spared from almost certain death from the Elsword. Unfortunately for her, she is dead.

But then a new challenger approaches. The challenger appears to be another girl, but with purple hair. The new girl raises a stick and summons forth a rock. The Elsword smashes right through the rock and with one bash from his sword, she is dead.

A man with questionably long hair and a freakishly orange arm approaches. I am not sure how the arm can contain all that orange, but it does. However, this man has apparently gained the ability to fly by using his arm to shoot out projectiles. The Elsword rolled right through the area that was being bombarded by the man, but somehow, despite the collateral damage that should have been done, the Elsword remained unscathed. The Elsword jumped into the air and slashed the man, sending him straight into the ground. The man looks dazed for a moment, but then he takes out a sword and with the same precision that the Elsword used to take out the original girl, slashed him without knocking him down. The man then slashed the Elsword once, turned around, slashed him again, and backhanded him with his freakishly orange arm. The arm shot out flames, and now the Elsword was on fire. The man then charged up his arm, causing flames to come out of it, then punched the Elsword with it 6 times, causing massive explosions each time.

That looked like it hurt. However, the Elsword got up, and while still on fire, held his sword upside down and he was instantly doused. The man with the arm looked very confused, but the Elsword decided to spin to win. Out goes the man and the Elsword says, "Not even close baby."

But this battle is not over yet. A female of the elf species is angry that the Elsword is hogging all of the food for himself and demands that he be punished. The Elsword, realizing how badly he was injured, decides to run away in hopes of staying alive. Unfortunately for him, he gets trapped in a tangle of leaves that somehow rises up and locks him in place. The Elsword struggles in vain to escape, but the tangle is too thick and sticky for him to get out. The woman then approaches the Elsword and takes out a bow. She fires one shot, two shots, does a backflip into four shots, and finally decides to fire three shots at a time at the Elsword that was now stuck in the leaves. Fortunately for the Elsword, despite being trapped in a pile of leaves while unable to move, the Elsword managed to dodge all of the arrows.

The tangled leaves finally loosened up, and the Elsword took out his sword and shouted, "Nice try, guy!" before sending his sword down upon the woman in a crescent cut, then pausing for a moment, then sending it back down with the force of a meteor. Where there was once a woman with a questionably large bust, she was dead.

The Elsword heard movement coming from behind him. He turned around and spotted a girl with unreasonably silver hair. She looked very fragile, but the Elsword knew she wanted to kill him, so he took no chances. He dashed towards the girl and slashed her twice, before stabbing her so hard, he was sent right through her. The Elsword turned around, and broke her armor. The Elsword continued stabbing her until two tiny things flew up out of the girl somehow. What are they going to do? The two things attacked Elsword, forcing him to stop attacking the girl. The girl used this opportunity to summon two humanoid figures, but they were not humans. The humanoids went up to the Elsword and beat him tremendously.

The Elsword was struggling to break away from his captives, but it was no use. The humanoids and the two flying things continued to wail on the Elsword, and it seemed that there was no end to it. Eventually, the Elsword fell down to the ground in pain, and with this, the four assailants lost sight of the Elsword. This allowed the Elsword enough time to roll away and try to escape. However, the girl stood in front of him and with an emotionless face, she held her hand up, and slammed it back down.

The Elsword looked confused for a minute, but then looked up. The girl then said, "Good thing I have my die move!" and watched as the Elsword was brutally crushed under what appeared to be a rusted hand that came from space.

The first girl's son has appeared and is looking for revenge on the person that killed his mother. Noticing that the Elsword was already dead, he looked at the silver girl and must have pieced two and two together. I believe that the son must have thought that if he could kill the girl that killed the boy that killed his mother, he would avenge his mother. He loaded a giant cannon with six slams on the ground, and sent out five homing rockets that would go towards the girl. The rockets split into three however! There are now fifteen homing rockets being sent towards the silver girl, and all of them exploded at once, leaving the girl no time to react, and that is why Chung is considered the f***ing filthy wh*** of Elsword.

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**A/N: What was supposed to be an ElswordxEve humorfic turned into this.**


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